I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
