so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
