So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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