I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
