You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
