It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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