Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
