I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
