Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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