thus making me awesome and them whores
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
