so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
