Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont even know how to be here
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
