Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
