You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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