Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it glows. i had to have it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
