At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize