The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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