tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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