The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
