his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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