he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
