4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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