Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
