we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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