No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
