I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
