I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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