Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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