Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
