When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
