You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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