just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
