Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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