help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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