Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
