Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
