yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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