I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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