Do you still have your period?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
