It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
