maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
and you said cock pushups were impossible
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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