OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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