This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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