I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
