Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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