I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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