So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize