my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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