"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
