you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
