I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
