My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
