I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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