life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
