I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
