dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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