no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
