How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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