So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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