is your mom at the bar?
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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