already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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