Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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