I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Don't tell me you're on acid again
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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