okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
