We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
