Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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