She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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