i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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